Parenting Rules for Divorced Parents

  • Do not talk negatively, or allow others to talk negatively, about the other parent in hearing range of the child.
  • Do not question the children about the other parent or the activities of the other parent regarding their personal lives.
  • Do not argue with your spouse/former spouse when the children are present.
  • Do not make promises to the children to try and win them over at the expense of the other parent.
  • Do communicate with the other parent and make similar rules with respect to discipline, bedtime routines, sleeping arrangements, and schedules.
  • At all times visitation arrangements will be made and confirmed beforehand between the parents without involving a young child, in order to avoid any false hopes and cause any disappointments or resentments toward the other parent.
  • Do notify each other in a timely manner of need to deviate from the order including canceling visits, rescheduling, and promptness.
  • Do not schedule activities for the child during the other’s parenting time.
  • Do keep the other parent informed of any scholastic, medical, psychiatric, or extracurricular activities or appointments of the child.
  • Do keep the other parent informed at all times of your address and telephone number. If you are out of town with the child, do provide the other parent the address and phone where the children may be reached in case of an emergency.
  • Do refer to the other parent as the child’s mother or father in conversation, rather than using the parent’s first or last name.
  • Do not bring the child into adult issues and adult conversations about custody, the court, or about the other party.
  • Do not ask the child where he or she wants to live. But do encourage the child to understand he or she has two homes.
  • Do not attempt to alienate the other parent from the child’s life.
  • Do not allow stepparents or others to alter or modify your relationship with the other parent.
  • Do not use phrases that draw the children into your issues, or make the children feel guilty about the time spent with the other parent.  For example, rather than saying “I miss you!” say “I love you!”